


Bucky Said You Couldn't

by Joanne_Lupin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Humor, Implied Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joanne_Lupin/pseuds/Joanne_Lupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taken from <a href="http://chickenstrippah.tumblr.com/post/88523693319/bonesbuckleup-bonesbuckleup-headcanon-where">this post</a>.</p><p>Steve does stupid shit because Bucky tells him he can't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bucky Said You Couldn't

It started completely by accident.

Clint was zoned out in front of the computer in the kitchen. His headphones were on, but he'd forgotten to turn the music back on after a cat video. He barely stirred when Steve and Bucky came into the room, discussing the sandwiches they were going to make.

You know, superhero stuff.

"Woah," Steve remarked. "There are ghost chilies in here! Wonder who got those..."

"Don't do it, Steve," Bucky muttered.

"Don't do what?" Steve asked innocently, setting armfulls of ingredients on the island.

"Don't eat the ghost chilies."

"I wasn't even thinking about it."

"Good. Don't do it."

Steve glanced back at the fridge. "But I could..."

"Steve..."

"Hey, Clint!" Steve tapped Clint on the shoulder, though he'd already heard, listening to the conversation unfolding. "Buck thinks I can't eat the ghost chilies. Wanna bet I can?"

Clint smirked. This would be good, no matter what happened. "That's a vague bet. How would I win?"

"Come on, Clint, don't encourage him!" sighed an exasperated Bucky.

Steve ignored him. "Okay... I'll chew it up and keep it in my mouth for thirty seconds-"

"A minute."

"Forty-five."

"Deal."

"Forty-five seconds. If I can't do that, you win."

"Steve..."

"AND _THEN_ ," Steve added aggressively, "I'll swallow it. And if I drink anything or throw up for five minutes after, I'll lose."

Clint held out a hand. "Five bucks?"

"Don't do it, Steve."

Steve took the hand. "Five bucks."

"You guys know _I'll_ be the one cleaning this up, right?"

Clint settled back in his chair and closed his laptop. "This'll be good..."

And that's the story of how Steve coughed up a mouthfull of chewed-up ghost chili all over Tony's kitchen. (Bucky did, in fact, clean it up. Clint was too busy crying with laughter.)

\--

From then on, Clint knew: he had a super power. And not, like, an actual saving-people superpower like super strength or shooting laser beams out of your eyes or some shit. This was much, much better. Whenever Clint wanted a laugh, he had the power to reduce the mighty, noble Avengers leader to a cocky teenage boy.

"Hey, Rogers, I heard Barnes say you can't eat a spoon full of cinnamon!"

"Did you hear what Bucky said to me? He told me you couldn't fit your head in a condom! Can you believe that?"

"Cap! I bet Bucky ten dollars you couldn't put Burt's Bees on your eyes without crying!"

So it went for a while, until Tony's scientific curiosity pushed the bets into a whole new realm of stupid.

\--

Wanting to quantify Steve's physical capabilities for research, Tony was running some tests. Clint was sitting around and watching, looking for something to do.

"Okay, Spangles, I'll need to see your best running leap."

Steve studied the space in the lab. "Is there anywhere more open? It's tight in here. Don't wanna break anything..."

That was when Clint had the best idea he'd ever had. "Jump from the roof."

"That sounds dangerous..." Steve said.

"It does, actually," Tony agreed.

"I bet he can do it."

Tony considered him. "I'll take that action. A thousand?"

"You got it, Stark."

"I'm not so sure I _want_ to jump off the roof," said Steve.

"C'mon," Clint said, grabbing them around the shoulders. "Let's go see if anyone else wants in on this."

They found Thor, Natasha, and Bucky playing MarioKart in a game room. (Natasha was winning.)

"Hey, guys, Cap's gonna jump off a building!" Clint told them.

"No, I'm not," said Steve.

"Damn right, you're not," muttered Bucky.

"Well, I mean," Steve backtracked, "I _could,_ if I wanted to..."

"But you don't," asserted Bucky.

"You don't know until you try, though."

"Oh, my god, Steve, you are _not_ gonna go jump off the roof."

"Guys," Steve announced, "I'm gonna jump off the roof."

"Goddammit," growled Bucky.

And _that's_ the story of how elderly Minnie Johnson was shocked within an inch of her life when Captain America skidded to a stop just in front of her rooftop herb garden, shredding his sweatpants and giving his ass a severe case of road (or, in this case, roof) rash. (Minnie wouldn't let him leave until she'd rubbed his bottom down with a salve and sewn up his pants with a patch; everyone gave him grief for it, but Bucky secretly sent her a thank-you card the next day.)


End file.
